Hong Kong Bar: The Best Strip Club In North America

Last week I went to Tijuana twice.

The first time was Saturday… the Saturday before last. I quickly found myself fucking a lovely young-looking and extremely petite hottie who had just arrived that day from Mexico City. She said she was 21. Sure, baby…. whatever you say!

After that I walked down Revolución. Partook in a stimulating and totally non-sexual massage at VivaMex. Had a nice meal at the Hotel Nelson restaurant… the Combinación Mexicana is yummy and goes well with a Margarita or two or three or five.

Then back to Zona Norte for more fucking. This time a 19-year-old with lush supple tits. I fucked this whoregirl on a previous trip and had been looking forward to doing her again.

Outside Adelita Bar in TJ's Zona Norte

Always safe sex, always using a condom. I am not fucking stupid. One reason I am especially careful is that I’m only a level 5 or 6 Tijuana Whore-Mongerer. Some of these guys, by contrast, are up there at levels 8 and 9 and 10.

Anyway back to it…

I was only slightly worn out after the two fuck sessions and the one massage session and the scrumptious meal and tasty Margaritas. And it was still early. Real early- like 7PM! I have over-optimized this whole hedonistic process!!! Got all the pleasure I came for and the sun hadn’t even gone down yet!

So I stumble toward Hong Kong Bar. And there I realized that Hong Kong Bar was not only the finest strip club in North America– hands down– but that I had found a new religion: The dragon was my god, and the Hong Kong fuckbar was my temple.

Guy at the Hong Kong door demands $3.50 for a can of Tecate. Some sort of entry fee or cover charge or what-have-you. No fucking way! I object on the basis of principle. I try to tell him that I am a loyal customer and esteemed porn blogger but he’s Mexican and he’s just the doorman and he doesn’t give a shit.

So I give him a $5 and tell him he can keep his gross Tecate and I step inside. I take a little walk around; the place is fucking big after last year’s renovation and there’s always stuff going on in all different sections.

Oh my god.

Is that a three-way lesbian show?

Oh my god.

Are all three girls…. covered in whip cream?

Oh my god.

Are those lit candles on the stage?

She’s not going to pour the hot candle wax on… Oh yes she is!

And then she takes the burning candle and shoves it into her pussy. One of the lesbo girls licks her tits. The third girl gets behind Miss Tit-Licker and starts to eat out her ass.

Holy shit! I gotta see this up close!

The cream-covered girl with the candle burning in her pussy who is getting her tits sucked takes a bottle of beer that’s been half-drunk and raises it over her body, pouring it out onto her tits and her stomach and the beer splahes over Miss Tit-Licker’s face as she’s getting her ass eaten out.

Then the burning candle comes out of the pussy and into her…

Oh my! I don’t think I’ve even ever seen that in porn, much less live.

There’s a few minutes of additional three-way action that blow even my rather pornofied mind.

Then the girls line up. In a fucking chain. Each girl’s ass is in the face of the girl behind her. They’re all covered in whip cream and beer. They look all around and then they plunge, with their tongues, into each others’ assholes. A cream-and-beer covered chain of ass-licking hotties.

I sit down. Have a few beers– Dos Equis, thank you very much. I don’t always drink beer, you know, but when I do I prefer Dos Equis.

The wait staff all recognize me, of course. I ask one of them a burning questions that flashed into my mind; something that would really make the evening complete: “Can I buy a joint to smoke here?”

No. Can’t do that. You can buy marijuana outside, he tells me, but can’t smoke it in here. It’s illegal, he explains. Cops would shut us down.

The Dos Equis multiply and pretty soon they become 12 X’s all together. Combined with the Margaritas from Hotel Nelson I am toasted. All the while some of the most amazing debauchery has been going on around me. I look up at the dragon over the bar. God I could go for a toke.

I’ll take you, man. You can be my god. And this will be my temple.

My temple is the best strip club in North America. Even without the ability to light up.

I mean… really… there isn’t any comparison. Nothing in the U.S. qualifies because you can’t actually fuck the girls. Here you can fuck pretty much any one you want. What’s the point of a strip club where you can’t fuck the strippers???

There’s this blond-haired girl dancing on a mini-stage over near the north entrance. She’s got the most incredible tits that me and my 12 X’s and five Margaritas have ever seen. I slip a dollar in her crotch and grab her tits and smoosh them on my cheeks as I bury my face between them. I would fuck her if I were more sober and hadn’t already came twice.

But those perfect perfect titties! Oh so yummy. So yummy yummy yummy!!!