Abby Winters

Spring Cleaning!

It’s actually only Mid-Winter. But it has been warm here. It has felt like Spring the last few weeks….

So I think the time is right to revamp this here esteemed porn blog. That’s what I’ll be working on this weekend. It’s Super Bowl weekend in the U.S.A., after all, and I ain’t no fan of football.

Visit here again after the weekend to see the new stuff!

A New Abby Winters Site

One big change is that I’ll be moving all the Abby Winters material to a new site. I have to do this because, earlier this week, a half-naked crazed bazooka-toting woman showed up at my office, introduced herself as Abby Winters (yes, Virginia, there is an Abby Winters!), and proceed to tell me that my writing was shit and that she was on a Terminator-style mission to destroy it.

Just a generic bazooka chic. I didn't snap Bazooka Abby.

I’m a Republican. So naturally the massive weapon was a total mega turn-on.

One thing quickly led to another and, shortly thereafter, we fucked. WOW! That was a wild mind-blowing carnal experience. Abby Winters is the best fucking lay that any man has ever had. Ever. EVAH!!! It was epic. It was legend. It was like a fantasy that I never knew I had… come true!!!

I still tremble when I recollect it.

Post-Coital Tenderness

But after sex it was back to the bazooka for Abby. She shoved it in my jaw and told me that although we just, ya’ know, did it, she still detested my prose and I would have to do certain things if I wanted to avoid having my mind blown, this time literally.

I must delete all Abby Winters pictures for one. Second, I must delete all Abby Winters links! I must also make sure that I am NOT bringing any creative writing talent to any promotion of Abby Winters’ namesake site anywhere on the Internet. And I must read a book on how to sexually satisfy Aussie women!

Abby reiterated that my writing sucks balls. She promised that if I got anywhere near her site with it, she would return with the bazooka and settle my account the way they do in the bush…

Yikes! Abby gonna go all Crocodile Dundee on my ass!

No Spice!

I promise you that, on the new Abby Winters promo site, I will be writing without any spice whatsoever. There will be no provocation. There will be nothing that could conceivably offend the batshit insane Aussie chic with the bazooka!

It will be boring as all hell. It’ll be bleak as Northern Europe in February. There’ll be some good pictures though. Just try as best you can to enjoy the pictorial bliss and overwhelming amateur lusciousness. I know you really want the articles, not the photos. I understand. Truly, I do.

But the chic had a bazooka! And she was hot! And she was mental! And she was Aussie! And she was… Oh, nevermind, you get it.

What choice did I have?