History Porn


How To Buy A Wife…

Category: History Porn

…in Ancient Babylon?

Well, it was very simple. You just went to the wife market!

Here’s how British painter Edwin Long depicted it in his 1875 work:

Babylonian Marriage Market

Long took great pains to make his representation as accurate as possible. He provided “a meticulous reconstruction of the customs, architecture, decor and costume of a past civilization”, according to the current owners of the work.

Note the obvious enthusiasm of the auctioneer on the left. And take a look at his cohort who is showing off the woman’s “assets” so that she’ll fetch the best possible price.

The competing bidders certainly look smitten, don’t they? Dude with the long black beard is looking all like “hand me my checkbook man, I’ve gotta buy this bitch and bring her back to my hut so I can fuck her while she calls me Sargon”… or something like that.

The women should cheer up. Why so gloomy, girls? They’re probably just bitter that they weren’t the first girl chosen to be put on the block– the auctioneer started with the most beautiful and worked his way down from there. Women can be petty like that.

History Lesson Continues After The Jump…

No Comments

Brennus & His Share Of The Spoils

Category: History Porn

That’s the title of this painting by Paul Jamin from 1893:

Brennus & His Share of the Spoils - by Paul Jamin

History Porn Lesson After The Jump…

4 Comments

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Category: History Porn

Or, What To Get The Woman Who Has Everything (So She Doesn’t Kill You Out Of Revenge):

This is from the HBO series Rome. It came out a few years ago but I just got it on DVD recently. It was visually spectacular and totally engrossing. Not so historically accurate, though.

1 Comment