CLICK IF YOU FUCKING DARE!!!

Normally I would post a preview image. Or even a video.

But no, not for this one.

Because viewing that site could make you as visibly neurotic as megaphone-toting Michael Stipe in this R.E.M. classic:

If you do click on the link, and then start hopping around while shouting though a megaphone about people being turned inside out… Well, don’t blame us! You clicked!

It’s just the trailer. I don’t think I could stand watching the actual movie. I’d honestly rather watch Octomom and Tattoo, although it’s a tough choice between two exceptionally unappealing alternatives.

The film is just the latest of 236 hardcore parody movies available at Hustler Hollywood.

But wait a sec… DVDs are so antiquated! I can’t recall ever blogging about a DVD-only porn release before. How quaint!

It’s verbal humiliation but nothing that could be taken too seriously. There’s bondage involved, but only the soft sort. And it’s very colorful bondage! That’s in stark contrast to the dark dungeon colors that BDSM usually entails.

The camera work is up-close and involved. It’s very easy to really feel what’s going on when you watch the videos. Fire up those mirror neurons.

The girls are the usual Porn Pros fare… lots of fresh-faced California hotties. There are only a few shoots up so far. It’s a new site so it’ll grow with regular updates.

Here’s an extended take from a shoot with Riley Rey, that Easter-egg-dipping sweetie from San Diego:

Check out the Humiliated / Disgraced 18 site here; or the entire Porn Pros Network here.

There you’ll find stuff like the three-titted woman:

…and Star Trek porn:

All in all, though, I think they try too hard. The clever antics don’t make it any more hot.

Ya’ know… You guys buy a hell of a lot more “authentic” porn than anything else: Abby Winters, Explicite-Art, FTV Girls, even True Amateur Models are all top sellers. All of these offer fresh faces; very few girls on these sites have the used-up-porn-star look.

The porn-consuming public just doesn’t go for the gimmicks. The proles want their porn fresh! The people demand new faces for the fucking and the muff-diving and the penetrating!

There you have it. A thought for May Day perhaps???

More here.

On a totally unrelated note, check out the latest and greatest in blow-up sex dolls… anyone in for a little bestiality???

I love it. The bodies are beautiful and the rough stuff is thrilling. And I won’t believe any of you guys if you say that you are too straight to find the oily-bodied dick-in-the-face muscularity exciting.

More here.

I tell you guys– THE BUSH is coming back this year. 2009 is it.

This actually reflects the whole modernism-postmodernism idea as applied to pubic hair.

Communities of people (i.e. porn girls) move more and more toward perfection (i.e. shaved pussies) and that’s “modernism”. But it always inspires a backlash. Just as it starts to seem that total perfection is within reach, the backlash (girlie curlies, in this case) really takes off. At that point, we enter the “postmodern” world.

In the postmodern world, we refer to the past, but we do it with the knowledge and experience of having gone through the “modernism” process.

With regard to the pubes, this means that when female pubic hair comes back, it won’t be the same as before. It won’t be like the 1970′s when every girl had this hairy bush-monster and that was just the way it was. Those days of innocence and naivete are gone forever. Instead, we’ll have the return of the bush but with a lots of shaved pussies still slutting about. Most importantly, though, we’ll have the knowledge that we all took it too far when we tried to eliminate the worldwide scourge of furburgers.

The concept is that real-life sisters get together for a threesome fuckfest. A porn celebration of the family, if you will…

The concept– and the site– are fucking awesome… so check it out! Yeah, it’s a little weird, but the good stuff is always a little weird.

…from the same bunch of classy dudes who created Biohazard Uncensored.