It’s Back to School Day for many of the y’ngins here in America. What’s that mean for you, dear porn surfer? Well, it means you can send the kiddies off and start clicking away!
While the kiddies are at school today, the father of our country– the Messiah Obama– is going to give them a speech. In fact, he’s going to recognize that the televised speech is a one-way monologue so he’s gonna be brief. He’ll succinctly share the existential wisdom he acquired throughout his life, imploring children to enjoy their youth and live in the present just like Kung Fu Panda does. He’ll reassure them that they can dedicate themselves to their studies and the mindful exploration of life, content that the country is being run by competent and professional grown-ups.
What’s this? Wait a sec… Oh dear… It seems that I am completely wrong. He’s actually gonna give a so-called “discussion” that’s nearly ten times as long as the Gettysburg Address, insisting that children take over “responsibility” for America’s problems. Take responsibility, little children! You need to forsake your childhood and get to work!
Obama was the new Jesus. Now he’s telling the children of America that they have to be new Jesuses too– all you kids gotta take “responsibility” and save the fucking world! You are not an individual, you are part of the Collective and much is expected of you. In fact, the American establishment demands it; I, the Holy Obama, demand it! From each according to their ability, and we’ll sort out the “to each” part later…
Obama is doing his small part to put America’s kids on the express road to psychotherapy.
And in a way, he’s right: Young people do need to take responsibility if they want the country to change, but only because the adults have fucked it all up in their effort to maintain the two-party politico-media duopoly. Young people need to get it together and put an end to the Democrats and put an end to the Republicans. End them! End them now!
Oh well. At least you and I have porn. That’ll keep us sane. Pot helps too. And when the kids grow up and reach the age of legal adulthood, we can share our porn with them and smoke joints with them and help them realize that bullshit is bullshit and that watching porn and smoking pot are better ways of spending time than being a captive audience for orthodox establishment doublespeak.
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