It’s actually only Mid-Winter. But it has been warm here. It has felt like Spring the last few weeks….

So I think the time is right to revamp this here esteemed porn blog. That’s what I’ll be working on this weekend. It’s Super Bowl weekend in the U.S.A., after all, and I ain’t no fan of football.

Visit here again after the weekend to see the new stuff!

A New Abby Winters Site

One big change is that I’ll be moving all the Abby Winters material to a new site. I have to do this because, earlier this week, a half-naked crazed bazooka-toting woman showed up at my office, introduced herself as Abby Winters (yes, Virginia, there is an Abby Winters!), and proceed to tell me that my writing was shit and that she was on a Terminator-style mission to destroy it.

Just a generic bazooka chic. I didn't snap Bazooka Abby.

I’m a Republican. So naturally the massive weapon was a total mega turn-on.

One thing quickly led to another and, shortly thereafter, we fucked. WOW! That was a wild mind-blowing carnal experience. Abby Winters is the best fucking lay that any man has ever had. Ever. EVAH!!! It was epic. It was legend. It was like a fantasy that I never knew I had… come true!!!

I still tremble when I recollect it.

Post-Coital Tenderness

But after sex it was back to the bazooka for Abby. She shoved it in my jaw and told me that although we just, ya’ know, did it, she still detested my prose and I would have to do certain things if I wanted to avoid having my mind blown, this time literally.

I must delete all Abby Winters pictures for one. Second, I must delete all Abby Winters links! I must also make sure that I am NOT bringing any creative writing talent to any promotion of Abby Winters’ namesake site anywhere on the Internet. And I must read a book on how to sexually satisfy Aussie women!

Abby reiterated that my writing sucks balls. She promised that if I got anywhere near her site with it, she would return with the bazooka and settle my account the way they do in the bush…

Yikes! Abby gonna go all Crocodile Dundee on my ass!

No Spice!

I promise you that, on the new Abby Winters promo site, I will be writing without any spice whatsoever. There will be no provocation. There will be nothing that could conceivably offend the batshit insane Aussie chic with the bazooka!

It will be boring as all hell. It’ll be bleak as Northern Europe in February. There’ll be some good pictures though. Just try as best you can to enjoy the pictorial bliss and overwhelming amateur lusciousness. I know you really want the articles, not the photos. I understand. Truly, I do.

But the chic had a bazooka! And she was hot! And she was mental! And she was Aussie! And she was… Oh, nevermind, you get it.

What choice did I have?

And this is sum fucking hot porno indeed!

The video here is in low resolution. Join Fucked Hard 18 to get all the teen massage porn videos you could desire, in up to 1080p HD:

direct link to video (mobile-friendly)

Although I don’t think teen girls really go for the whole legitimate-massage-turned-sex-romp thing… especially when the dude is probably twice her age, not to mention wearing such terrifying sweatpants.

But who knows? And why not suspend disbelief and enjoy!

Some preview snapshots:

Fucked Hard 18

Here are some super-hi-res (60+ MP!) samples from one of last week’s Hegre-Art updates. The model is Nikola. What do you think of the photos… Erotic? Too lifeless? Super-hi-res heroin-zombie porn?

Hegre-Art

Totally Unrelated Gratuitous Harem Pic

A blacklisting censorship bill is being considered by a committee of the United States House of Representatives this week.

Censoring the Internet is, of course, something totally unholy. Demonic. Immoral. Something that the Santorum-worshippers would do.

Naturally the people of the Internet are up in arms. The Electronic Frontier Foundation has issued a call to action, complete with a toolkit for activism.

A New Breed of Engineers?

An updated version of the Stop Online Piracy Act, as the bill is called, was released Monday afternoon. Read it! Most of it reads like an engineering specification document for modifications to the DNS system, essentially mandating that the system should FAIL when presented with an input that matches the contents of the government blacklist.

Thousands of hard-working engineers have endeavored, over many decades, to create the Internet that we all know and love. It’s a system that has proven amazingly useful, resilient, and adaptable. The Internet – and its essential constituent components such as DNS – have raised humanity to a whole new level.

And the engineers are still working! They’re implementing IPV6. They’re implementing DNSSEC. Constant improvement is the task of this global community of engineers. And it’s a task they are up to because they have the education and the experience and the creativity to do the job.

But the folks in Congress think they can do better engineering work than the guys who, you know, have actually been doing the work!

Wow, these Congresspeople are smart! More educated and more experienced and more creative than the people that engineered the Internet???!!! Wow… wow… wow…!!!

Ptthheew! Sorry, I just snarfed it. These people are idiots.

Threats Generally Work

I’m not talking about physical threats.

I simply suggest you call, e-mail, complain in person… Threaten your Congressman that if he or she supports S.O.P.A., you will vote for the other guy in 2012, and that you’ll encourage your family and friends and colleagues to vote for the other guy, and that you’ll donate to the other guy, and that you’ll complain on the Internet and in other public forums about how your Congressperson helped ruin the Internet and ought to be voted out of office for doing so.

The Internet is holy. It must be defended.

This chic is one of 2011′s finest. She has appeared on most of the nude sites and some of the explicit sites too. In fact, she started out a couple of years ago with her own explicit solo site that was built on the standard teen-fucking theme.

She’s the now-legendary Caprice. Just “Caprice”. She seems to have dropped the “Little” from her name now that her teen-fucking days are winding down.

These shots were taken for FEMJOY earlier this year. As winter starts to take hold here in the U.S.A. – BRRRR! – it’s nice to look at such a hottie posing nude in lush green environs. Enjoy the hi-res photos!

FEMJOY

CLICK IF YOU FUCKING DARE!!!

Normally I would post a preview image. Or even a video.

But no, not for this one.

Because viewing that site could make you as visibly neurotic as megaphone-toting Michael Stipe in this R.E.M. classic:

If you do click on the link, and then start hopping around while shouting though a megaphone about people being turned inside out… Well, don’t blame us! You clicked!

Well, okay, maybe that’s too far. But certainly your girlfriend! And your wife, although you might want to approach the subject tactfully if you are already in divorce proceedings. Unless, of course, your can get your attorneys to draw up a stipulation about it in advance. Or if you can get the sex therapist who you and your wife see to suggest it. Just don’t let the sex therapist join in, ‘cuz that turns out be a little wierd… … Uhhh… Oh my, I’m rambling nonsense!

Anyway, here’s an excellent example. I down-sampled it from the original 1080p – which looks spectacular, by the way! – so that it could be shown in its entirety here on this esteemed porn blog. If you want the full hi-res version, you’ll have to join the X-Art site.

Here’s the video. It’s just under 9 minutes:

direct link to video (mobile-friendly)

The blonde chic is named Erica. And here are some more snaps to whet your appetite… or your girlfriend’s appetite… or your wife’s appetite… or your sex therapist’s appetite…

X-Art

You know… it’s awfully hard to come to grips with the bat-shit-insane political situation in American right now.

Just last week, for instance, the U.S. Senate passed the Glenn Greenwald Assassination Act– no, not it’s official name, but nonetheless an accurate description of what it intends to accomplish.

Now all of America is a battlefield. Anyone whom the American Regime considers to be a “terrorist” can be summarily killed by the military. And only the Regime gets to decide who’s a terrorist and who isn’t. No courts are involved. There is no trial.

Just imagine if Nixon had this power! The power to kill whomever he wanted would have been the ultimate trump card against all sorts of political difficulties. Daniel Ellsberg’s leaking of the Pentagon Papers, for instance, would have certainly qualified as a terrorist act. And then Ellsberg could have been shot in the head. Woodward and Bernstein’s exposé of the Watergate scandal could have been labelled a terrorist act too. Shot in the head, and shot in the head.

With a bada-bing and a bada-bang, all of Nixon’s problems could have been solved! Then there would have been no scandal for Dick. No resignation for Dick. Long live King Nixon!

So now, going forward, when regular critic of the American Regime (and Salon blogger) Glenn Greenwald gets a little too mouthy, or comes across some significant evidence of malfeasance that might resonate a little too much with the generally disinterested public, he can be labelled a “terrorist” too. And then the Regime will shoot him in the head. Bye, bye, Gleeny-boy! Republicans will cheer! Democrats will cheer! God bless America!

The word “luksus” comes to mind.

Problem is that it’s a Danish word, and you non-Scandie flipoids won’t know what it means. But you should! It’s used in nearly 50% of the hooker ads in the back of the Danish tabloid Ekstra Bladet! You ought to know these things if you are going to be a Hedonist in the modern world!

It means luxury, or luxurious. In Polish it is “luksusowa”… and that is also a vodka! A very good, inexpensive potato vodka. You can probably buy it at your local liquor store.

Anyway, this chic– Virginia Sun from MET Models– is total hotness, photographed by DA MAN Rylsky in some luksus environs. In hi-res too! At first I thought she might be the same legendary Caesaria, but after consulting with the fascist authority of teen models– that being Peachy Forum, where Caesaria and Virginia Sun are listed quite distinctly– I’ve determined that DIS PUSSY is indeed 100% unique.

Enjoy!

Isn’t the photo below, on the right, just… like… totally… killer???

The next three photos are filled with WIN!!!

MET Models

The little blonde is Elaina Raye (@xxxelainaraye on Twitter). Take a look at these pics and the video and you’ll appreciate how tiny she is, especially when paired with Mr. Big Cock from Porn Pros.

Even though she’s desperately outsized, she’s still enthusiastic and extremely willing. All together this is one very hot shoot!

Here’s a 6-minute clip:

direct link to video (mobile-friendly)

Join the Porn Pros Network for the full video.

(or Porn Pros Mobile)

Porn Pros Network

Porn Pros Mobile

We go back to 1969. The powder-keg of American culture is exploding. The folk-singing duo of Mike Brewer and Tom Shipley have retreated from the high life of California, back to their native Midwest. They made two albums together while in Los Angeles. And now they are eking out a meager living in Kansas City by playing in college towns within driving distance of their new home.

As a joke, they quickly pen a song about a dude who has smoken’ himself a bit too much of the Mary Jane. The song is One Toke Over The Line, and would be included in their third album.

Subversives to American Youth

Not willing to pass on the opportunity to shit on dirty hippie pot smokers, the Vice President of the United States took notice. Spiro T. Agnew called out the two songwriters, personally, as “subversives to American youth”. Agnew further pressured the FCC to ban the song just as it started to garner airplay.

Later on, of course, Vice President Agnew would be charged with taking bribes while in office, including while serving as V.P. He pleaded no contest to a tax evasion charge and resigned in disgrace. His boss Nixon would soon follow him to the place where old criminal politicians go.

Meanwhile, One Toke Over The Line made Brewer and Shipley more well-known than ever. It even features in the opening of Hunter S. Thompson’s legendary book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Enter Lawrence Welk…

Then Lawrence Welk got into the mix! The number was performed on his ultra-conservative ultra-mainstream ultra-middle-class ultra-fogie show– introduced as “one of the newer songs”, and classified as a “modern spiritual” by Welk himself.

Here it is:

This is, oddly enough, the second time that the Lawrence Welk Show has appeared on this here esteemed porn blog. Hmmmm….???

This video– from the Euro Sex Parties section of Reality Kings– is one of the finest porn shoots that we’ve seen in some time. It features a fit, athletic girl named Cahty Heaven doing practically anything that can be done with two lucky guys… deep-throating, double-penetration, lots of anal, a lovely double-cumshot… it’s all here in this 37-minute video clip!

direct link to video (mobile-friendly)

A couple more snaps to help you warm up:

Reality Kings

This chic– Sofie from FEMJOY– is more than a pretty face!

Luckily we’ve got lots of hi-res photos for ‘ya, so you can examine all her appealing aspects in great detail…

FEMJOY

Another One Bites the Dust

I post this with great sadness.

Well, sorta…

I regret to inform you that Julius “Ray” Hoffman, keeper of this esteemed porn blog, walked out onto the beach in Oceanside, California and kicked the bucket.

Actually, it was more of a “pail” than a “bucket”. One of those plastic sand toys, left behind by some negligent vacationers. Probably a family from Wisconsin– all Wisconsinites are assholes, you know.

Ray kicked the little plastic shovel too, for good measure…

Like Sherman McCoy before him, Julius “Ray” Hoffman is DEAD. Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead fucking dead. Dead like Steve Jobs. Dead like Michael Jackson. Dead like freedom and liberty in America.

Death in the Modern World

Back in 2009, when Sherman met his demise, it seemed okay to record his undoing in somewhat flowery detail.

But no more. Those days are gone. Gone, gone, gone, gone, gone, gone fucking gone.

Now is the time of austerity, the era of the trim and lean, the epoch of thrift. Brevity!

All I’ll say is…

It Was the Vodka That Did It

Ray had just finished the last post, in which he vowed to forge ahead Bigger, Faster, Stronger with this neglected publication. He stepped out of his Pacific Street home to survey the lovely afternoon panorama of sand, sea, sun, and sky that stretched out before him.

As he gazed away into the distance, something flying overhead caught his attention.

What was it? A bird? A plane? Newt Gingrich?

It came closer. It glimmered in the sunlight. Ray could see that it was partly clear, partly golden… Was it an angel?

Thump. It landed in the sand, right in front of him.

He picked it up. It was a 1.75L bottle jug of Tito’s Handmade Vodka. Sent from God, apparently.

A Jug of Vodka A Day Keeps The Doctor Away

Ray carried the divine vodka inside.

Begotten, not made, he thought. One in being with the father. Through him all things are made. Like this here jug o’ vodka.

He wasn’t a fan of alcohol. Marijuana yes… booze no.

But Ray figured that if God had sent it, then he ought to drink it.

So, doing his best Amy Winehouse impersonation, Ray drank it up– all one point seven five liters of it. The whole fucking thing. In ten minutes.

And it killed him. He won’t be needing any doctor ever again. (Therefore the doctor is officially “away”? Get it? Do I really need to spell these things out for you? If you’re gonna go along with this esteemed porn blog henceforth, then you should bring your A-level reading game to it! I ain’t gonna coddle you for long!)

A Cautionary Tale

If you’ve ever tasted Tito’s Handmade Vodka, you know how exceptionally pure and smooth it is. Therefore, no gag reflex or anything like that got between Ray and his appointment with Doom.

There should be a moral to this story, don’t you think? It would be a shame if Ray expired without leaving something– besides porn– behind for humanity.

I guess the moral is this:

Tito’s Vodka is killer, dude…

Or perhaps:

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

You can take y’er pick, I guess.

(pic from No Rest for the Ass)

See here, y’all… What I mean is that I am adopting a new guiding philosophy for this blog, which never really went anywhere since moving off blogspot. Now I intend to drive it somewhere– hopefully down the secret tracks that V cleared out under London.

After all, there are many hot asses that need fucking. And there’s a corrupt authoritarian American regime that needs opposing.

This chic is Naya, from the new softcore site Goddess Nudes. The site is made by the same dude who runs the long-established “tasteful” nude site Domai. The new site is supposed to be a little more explicit… More pussy is good for you!

Admittedly, however, there is no Significant Kitty™ on display here. But, really, that’s nothing to complain about considering how gorgeous this chic is.

Goddess Nudes

And she’s going to get destroyed.

This clip is just under 10 minutes, so it’s only a small part of her destruction. Join Sex & Submission to enjoy over a full hour of this in HD. You’ll also get a new episode every week, and you’ll be able to explore a few years worth of weekly archives.

Anyhow… let us commence with the destruction:

direct link to video (mobile-friendly)

A couple more snaps from deeper into the clip to whet your appetite:

Pardon me while I digress to consider this video in metaphorical terms. One reason for that is because I like to think of myself as having a literary perspective on things, even violent bondage porn. And another reason is that I struggle to come up with the slightest semblance of cultural value to use in my defense should I be brought up on Obscenity charges for posting this.

So I see Princess Donna as America the Beautiful, tied up and restrained by the Establishment. The two dudes who are beating her and fucking her until she cries out “Fuck me, Daddy!” represent the Republican and Democratic parties. The silent dude with the tattoos is obviously the Democrat. The squirelly dude that calmly commands the scene and has that psychopath look in his eyes– well, he’s clearly the Republican.

Sex & Submission

But the fact that she’s a porn virgin don’t mean she ain’t got da natural skillz! Here’s a 6-minute clip from one of her scenes. Enjoy watching up close as she double-penetrates herself like a fucking prodigy:

direct link to video (mobile-friendly)

And how about some snaps? They’re from a whole hodgepodge of scenes and situations, which is what you always get from the girls at FTV:

FTV Girls

Now, about the politics:

Have you been paying attention to the whole debt-ceiling thing?

It was like a season of a mediocre TV series. The tension was fake. The characters were empty and predictable. Everyone knew how the season would end.

But of course the season finale yesterday was still dramatic: The House of Representatives decided, at the last minute and at Obama’s urging, to not impose an immediate financial catastrophe on the world.

America gets to live to borrow borrow borrow another day… YAY!

Gabrielle Giffords, whom you might remember from last season as “the Congresswoman who was shot in the head in Tuscon”, came back to work for the first time to cast her vote. As her presence became known, there was a long round of thunderous applause, just like Chancellor Palpatine got after he was disfigured by Samuel L. Jackson in Star Wars III.

There is an ominous development: a Super Congress has been created to make sure that the small players in the legislative business– mostly the Tea Party “terrorists”– don’t get in the way of the big fish anymore. We can’t have those annoying dweebs obstructing the will of the mighty Establishment, can we?

So I reluctantly admit that the finale was somewhat interesting. But the season overall was nonetheless mediocre; and the series as a whole is booooooring.

Maybe they could work the cast of Seinfeld into the storyline for next season? That would be an improvement, don’t you think?

Club Seventeen

This chic is Eufrat. A model for many years, she is one of the most photographed and well-known Euro soft porn girls.

I’ve never posted any photos of her until now… I think I was finally hypnotized by her hips. And she’s the type of woman who seems to get more attractive as she gets older. (I wonder if that’s a Euro thing? It surely ain’t true of American women!)

The hi-res photos are from our friends at Torrid-Art.

Torrid-Art

The title, along with the fact that it is set in the era of Ancient Rome, should pretty much explain it… I love the expression of the bearded “salesman” in the middle.

Speaking of Ancient Rome… in an otherwise totally un-related way…

Dan Carlin, whose libertarian Common Sense podcast is linked on the right side of this here esteemed porn blog, has finally finished the last episode in his epic series on the fall of the Roman Republic.

It’s the sixth episode in the series. While the previous ones have clocked in at about 90 minutes, as is typical for Hardcore History episodes, this one is five-and-a-half hours long!!!

It’s a massive undertaking. I imagine that history fans everywhere have been eagerly anticipating it. I haven’t listened to it yet, since it just came out a few hours ago and I need to get a little high first… but I fully expect it to be the best episode of what is IMHO the best podcast ever. The summary is tantalizing:

In a massive finish to the “Dan Carlin version” of the fall of the Roman Republic, conspiracies, civil wars, beatniks of antiquity and a guy named Caesar figure prominently. Virtually everyone dies.

The hi-res photos are by Albert Varin.

The girl is Ultima. And that’s a great name too, don’t you think?

Amour Angels

Enjoy the hi-res photos, courtesy of our friends at FEMJOY:

FEMJOY

The most significant thing I’ve learned from reading man blogs like Roissy or In Mala Fide or The Spearhead is this: The notion that womyn are “the gentler sex”– that they are somehow more moral and honest than men– is a fucking lie… One fucking gigantic cultural lie!!!

Hamlet was right when he complained that womyn generally exhibit weakness of character.

I’ll go further: Womyn are just as greedy and ruthless and vindictive as men. They will lie and manipulate others just as quickly as men will. Sometimes they will make a tremendous effort to appear all normal and nice on the outside while harboring an inner sociopathic sadism that would make even the most weathered soul cringe. In fact, it’s easier for them to do so than it is for men since womyn are usually given the benefit of the doubt, and because The System works in their favor.

Read this. It’s about a dude from Las Vegas who experienced the full brunt of Feminist depravity and manipulation. I won’t say much more because the story at the link is both concise and well-told; I don’t want to spoil it for you.

The villain in this story is not just the womyn who made the accusations; it’s also the Ventura County District Attorney, who blindly accepted a vindictive fabrication because it fit today’s dominant cultural notion: Womyn are honest and men are rapists. Even now, the Ventura County District Attorney refuses to charge the real perpetrator in the case and, in doing so, continues to shit on the real victim.

And what if this dude didn’t have such good attorneys working for him? Or what if he didn’t have the big bucks to pay for them? I shudder to think how easily he could have lost the rest of his life to the fucking Feminist Agenda.

Notice that I used the word “womyn” in this post. “Why?”, you ask? Because I would be despoiling men if I used “woman” and “women” while discussing such malevolence. Womyn don’t deserve to share our vowels.