And you, dear reader, can buy the original, at least according to its page here, for a measly $1600!

Seriously, this chic is going places, and this seems to me like the bargain of the… century?… uh, no… year?… uh, no… month?… uh, yeah… that’ll do! The bargain of the month.

I would send an e-mail to Ms. Artist and offer to buy it myself, but then I wouldn’t feel right tossing the entirely relevant image atop this post. Plus I have an account to settle with the Bank of Vodka. My personal rule is that I never spend more than $1000 (one grand!) while heavily intoxicated. Five grand if I had two drinks or less.

Alas, tonite I have traveled into territory where my spending limit has decreased down… down… down… well into the hundreds.

But I digress…

Ms. Kurzemniece describes her painting as:

debauchery as a lifestyle and attitude towards life

And I’m totally down with that! How does she feel about said “debauchery”? Is she commenting on The Age of Onanism? What the fuck is Onanism anyway? Am I mocking myself by linking to her painting? Am I mocking myself by linking to masturbation-free Ferd? Is this Polish Vodka, supposedly endorsed by Bruce Willis, any good? Oh, the questions, dear reader… I am overwhelmed by all the questions… The fucking questions!!!

Ya’ know…

The Founding Fathers of the mighty United States of America were very much into leisure. They generally agreed that only a leisured man, unburdened by concerns about his daily bread, could have the necessary detachment to serve as an effective democratic representative in their fledgling Republic.

During the American Revolution, the second leader of the Continental Congress was a South Carolinian named Henry Laurens. Laurens began curtailing his merchant activity in the 1760s, embracing an enlightened slackerhood as he pointed himself toward a career in leisure politics. In 1789 he offered:

How hard it is for a rich or covetous man to enter heartily into the kingdom of… patriotism.

And that quote, dear reader, seems like it was telegraphed from more than two centuries ago, forward to this very day… to be embossed over a photo of our dear Republican nominee for President:

But the finest expression of the supremacy of leisure came from the Commonwealth of Virginia. In 1776 the Virginia Revolutionaries chose this as their state motto:

Deus nobis haec otia fecit

That’s Latin for “God bestowed upon us this leisure”. Of course now we can look back and mutter, “No, you dumb-asses, it was your fucking slaves who bestowed your leisure upon you, not God.” …but that’s not the point.

In any case, Thomas Jefferson nixed the motto. He reminded his colleagues that such a slacker mentality was perhaps not the wisest thing to advertise in the midst of a war. The Virginians went with Perseverando (By Persevering) instead.

Still, thanks to Gordon S. Wood, we here in modern world can reflect on their original choice and chuckle. Or, perhaps, we can nod in agreement…?

That’s from Club Seventeen, which I remember fondly as the first porn site I joined… back in 1997 or 1998. They’ve been going since the 1970s. So that means that some of their oldest teen porn stars are granny-aged now.

Anyway, here’s a round-up of some fine recent galleries of theirs, not a single granny to be found in any of ‘em:

Club Seventeen

Our quest for the world’s finest puffy nipples resumes with this chic from Bikini-Pleasure.

She apparently goes by the name Blue Angel… Or is that the name of the almost non-existent bikini?

Her button titties are titillating. Her bikini– a Tangaland Sling Shot Bikini– is the sort of thing that can lead even the average Joe to deep questions of metaphysics.

Bikini-Pleasure

This extended clip is from our friends at Wired Pussy / Electrosluts:

And that’s some solid porno talent right there! Not every girl off-the-street can withstand such shocking treatment… at least not with the good attitude that these girls display.

I’d give a performance like this a 6 or 7 on the scale of porno talent. Good job, girls! You might both be a little cheesecake-y, but nonetheless you certainly know how to perform…

Wired Pussy / Electosluts

He ran as a conservative Christian who opposed gay marriage.

And now he’s running again. But this time he’s running away, away, away… away from his wife… to New Zealand, so he can be close to the children he fathered as a sperm donor. His wife, of course, thought her hubby had originally gone to New Zealand to help with earthquake relief. She had no idea he was donating sperm, and now she’s a tad miffed about the business…

“He is obsessed with this. He doesn’t want to stop,” his abandoned wife told the New Zealand Herald.

But Bill Johnson is only a novice in this burgeoning movement! This 42-year-old from the Netherlands has 83 children and counting, mostly mothered by lesbian women. He keeps his children’s names and dates of birth in a spreadsheet. And “Papa Ed” often accomplishes fertilization the old-fashioned way…

You could certainly say that Papa Ed is obsessed with sperm donation too.

Is this some sort of new trend?

Perhaps this is part of “sexual evolution”?

Photos from Hegre-Art:

Hegre-Art

While the bunny is starting to kick in, you might want to consider the entrenched powermongers who are keeping marijuana illegal.

Those MUTH. A. FUCKERS!!!

If you are still not high yet, you can ponder Mencken. I can pretty much guarantee that this is the only porn blog that links to socio-economic analyses from the perspective of long-dead journalists. But, eh, you gotta have y’er niche, man…

Then again, Mencken’s most famous quote is probably this:

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses. It is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

And if we’re talking about getting it good and hard… well, then we’re pretty much back on topic, ain’t we?

If you are still not high, or even better if you are… ponder this:

That’s Emmanuelle Signer, or at least I think it is. She’s also known as “Roman Polanski’s wife”, photographed by Katja Rahlwes, who might not be happy that her highbrow work is appearing on this here esteemed porn blog…. but if you’s gonna photograph Mrs. Polanski lookin’ like a man with her tit hanging out… well, then I think you gotta accept that it goes where it goes.

This chic is just so fucking hot. She’s 18-year-old Kaylee, posing nude for the first time for X-Art.

Click on the thumbs to see the photos in high resolution… it’s hard to pull your eyes away!

X-Art

Just so we’re clear about it: She wants to anally rape you!!!

And then she wants to take away your ability to view esteemed Internet publications such as the one you are reading right now! Regulate the Internet just like the telly, she says… She’s even managed to get at least one dude at the Guardian on board, albeit somewhat tentatively.

oh but it’s for the children!!! blah blah fucking blah

Sure, there’s “opt-in”. For now. Of course you will have to confess to your Internet provider (and maybe to the government?) that you a pervert. And what might the consequences of that be?

Time to go read the Declaration of Independence of Cyberspace again, for motivation and for encouragement and as a reminder that the smiley-faced statist authoritarians will always be trying to cripple our beautiful technology. This bit seems particularly relevant:

You are terrified of your own children, since they are natives in a world where you will always be immigrants. Because you fear them, you entrust your bureaucracies with the parental responsibilities you are too cowardly to confront yourselves. In our world, all the sentiments and expressions of humanity, from the debasing to the angelic, are parts of a seamless whole, the global conversation of bits. We cannot separate the air that chokes from the air upon which wings beat.

FEMJOY

I don’t know about her face, tho’. If she were here with me, right now, something about her look would drive me to smack her and wipe that smile off her face…

Or maybe I’ve just been reading too much Roissy. (Probably one of the best writers in the world, and he’s peddling the bitch slap… not that there’s anything wrong with that!)

We’re gonna go on a quest for the best puffy nipples in the world!

We’ll search long and hard for the sweetest nubbins that God ever made…

And it’s a competition! After a large number of titillating posts, some clear favorites should start to emerge. In the end, though, we’ll have to choose the best! Like Highlander of hot titties… There can be only one!

…or, uh, two, since we are talking about titties.

So grab your sword (or keep it in its scabbard… as you wish!) and enjoy our first contestant. She’s Mika from MPL Studios, which is a wonderful place for Stay Puff Nips lovers!

Her tits are a little on the small side, but their shape is truly extraordinary:

MPL Studios

This is like a level 3… or maybe 4… on the one-to-ten scale of porno talent. Nonetheless, it is admirable. You need to start somewhere.

I’m talking about vaginal self-fisting. Anal self-fisting is quite a few notches up on the porno-talent ladder. (And don’t read ahead, class! We’ll get there when we get there!)

It is my personal opinion that any woman ought to be able to do this by the time she turns 20. You girls can take your eighteenth and nineteenth years to practice.

And us men must not abandon our responsibility! We must confirm it! We must insist that, as part of any chic’s 20th birthday celebration, she demonstrate the ability to stick her entire hand up in her pussy. It takes practice and preparation.

Girls who fail the test don’t get no cake!

FTV Girls

(source)

Now on to what Peter Kropotkin had to say:

Either the state forever, crushing individual and local life… Or the destruction of states, and new life starting again… on the principles of the lively initiative of the individual and groups, and that of free agreement. The choice lies with you!

That’s from 1897.

Imagine hearing somebody say that today. You might reasonably assume that they were talking about the Internet and statist attempts to hobble it– SOPA, CISPA, etc…

It is the Internet, after all, that has provided the forum for lively initiatives to take root, and for both individuals and groups to move beyond evermore authoritarian and corrupt nation-states.

Still, that was only the first film. Now, some years later, the Empire needs to strike back against the rebels…

Panda Fuck

(gallery here)

Berlyn from SEA-QTeaze:

And one single shot of a Naked Heavens girl in pigtails:

No, she’s not technically “wet”. But it’s close enough for porn blog work!

And she looks like she’s offering herself up to Sol Invictus. I’m a big fan of Sol Invictus. He was quite interesting as far as gods go. Maybe we should bring him back as some sort of New Age god of Hedonism?

Delete the posts of the past. Let them go. Abandon corporeal concerns and focus instead on the City of God…

Yup, that’s what he said– hyperlink included! Then we ate some yummy crab cakes…

I’ve also decided to support our wonderful government! I will support Obama… and I will support Romney… YAY OBAMA! YAY ROMNEY! YAY AMERICA! I will give them both my unquestioning loyalty. After all, the official American Loyalty Day was just two days ago!

I will follow God! I will accept Jesus as my personal Savior. I will believe in the divine Jude-Christian power of the Red, White, and Blue! I’ll do what I am told. Believe what I am told. Smile and keep my face straight!

Oh fuck it… I can’t go on. You write a few short paragraphs about this bullshit and you end up feeling like you want to go down to The Strand and pull a Junior Seau yourself.

So… Sadly, no, I didn’t find Jesus. But I did find a nice little furry nihilist…

…and that seems to be a better fit.