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I remember the day when I became a libertarian.
It happened when I was in sixth grade Social Studies class. I was about 12 years old. All students were assigned the task of designing a country. We were supposed to determine the style of government, and describe in writing the customs and laws of our society.
This was back in the mid-Reagan era, when the Cold War was in full they’re-gonna-nuke-us-anyday-now mode. The project was probably intended to make each student choose an American-style system for himself. Any kid who designed a communist country like the big bad U.S.S.R. would have to answer some tough questions when he presented his design to the class… such as: Do you really think that badass Russian Dolph Lundgren should have won over Rocky Balboa? Cue the shame!
But I got interested in the project in a way that was subtly sexual. What distinguished my design was that, in my ideal country, beachwear would be see-through! Something like this:
I remember one girl who I had a crush on asked me: What’s the point of having see-through bathing suits?
The true answer, of course, was that it resonated with my nascent hedonism and horniness in a way that I couldn’t elucidate. But instead I told her: That’s just the way it is in my country. We must, I explained to my fellow Sixth Graders, respect the customs of people in other societies, even if we find them a little strange. We must not engage in ethnocentrism!
Then I went on to describe how every single aspect of my society was based, in one way or another, on the see-through bathing suit concept. The government would be honest and transparent; they could not tell a lie. There would be total freedom except for the fact that hot women would be forbidden to don any swimwear that was not see-through. My teacher tried to steer my presentation in another direction– any other direction!– but I persisted with the idea that this was just how my country was. I had a presentation to give and was not going to accept being censored! Free speech! Free speech!
