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What a great day! It’s my favorite holiday of the year…
Prior to this day eight years ago, we had troubles concerning morality in this country. We thought that corruption and lies and political doublespeak were generally bad things. But thankfully all those unnecessary trivialities got swept away when we pulled ourselves together and decided we needed to “protect the country”. No we have no more moral qualms. No ethical issues really bother us anymore. What a relief!
For instance: Eight years ago, a politician like Mike Duvall might have had to actually apologize for his “family values” hypocrisy after it was found that he was cheating on his wife, and then cheating in turn on his mistress with another mistress who was a lobbyist with business before his committee, and then bragging about how his mistress liked to be spanked to a fellow California Assemblyman during a legislative session. But no more! Now, while the country is consumed with protecting itself, Mike “Family Values” Duvall can just let us know that this is a personal issue and that we ought to respect the privacy of everybody involved.
After all, you open your mouth too much, protest too much, and you just might be a terrorist too! Even though you are American citizen, you can still be held without charges in a small cell that’s brightly lit 24/7 for 16 days, and then released only under dehumanizing conditions, and then touted as a “terrorist” by the highest levels of the political establishment– all without the government having the excessive burden of ever going to court to present its case against you! And best of all, the Messiah Obama is totally okay with all of this! What a great fucking country!
Eight years ago, the only porn I liked was soft porn. I thought Penthouse was edgy, and I thought B.D.S.M. was the name of the investment bank where my dead co-blogger Sherman worked. But then the First Great Leader of our country told us that it was our patriotic duty to support torture. The Christian leadership also told us good Christians that it was our religious duty to support torture. The media like the beloved National Review told us that it was absolutely immoral to not support torture! So I read George Orwell’s 1984 and watched the movie Brazil and got totally turned on. And I just went from there…
Now I eagerly anticipate every new Elite Pain video and fantasize about the opportunity to do those sorts of things to those Allah-worshiping oil-hogging bitches! Give me a whip and a cattle prod and some pork sandwiches and send me to the women’s section at Gitmo! He-haw!
And yes, all those people died in New York and Washington and in Pennsylvania. But it was a small price to pay for securing the right for Mike Duvell to fuck lobbyists and be a gay-basher at the same time! And it is a small price to pay for showing every single American the delight of torture! Ah, beautiful beautiful torture! How I love thee!
Viva Dick Cheney! Viva Geroge Bush! Viva the New Messiah!
And happy 9/11 to you, dear reader! Happy 9/11!
