So… I’m cleaning up the list of links on the right. Starting with the non-porn ones.
The first step in solving your lack-of-blog-updates problem is admitting you have a problem. So I admit it: I have a problem.
The second step is editing your link list to get rid of the schlockos who are worse at updating that you are.
I’m keeping Althouse at the top. Although she is a cranky nasty Rightist herding an angry Republican commenting mob, she does make more sense than anyone else out there in the blogosphere. Her smiling face and lovely lawyer words convinced me to vote for Obama back in 2008. I was tricked – again! – by a sweet-talking MILF; I shouldda gone with Bob Barr.
Adding Roissy was a tough call. I like some of his ideas, but his endless – and seemingly mindless – pursuit of poontang gets a little tiring. He needs a little God and Death in his life.
I was gonna delete Samizdata. But I visited their site just to be sure about it, and there I found this eminently practical advice for dealing with climate change:
I don’t agree with the assertion about overpopulation. I think the greater human capability provided by a larger population is more beneficial than the environmental tax on the planet. Yay Ayn Rand!
Plus, more population means more horny people to sell porn to.
But I agree – wholeheartedly! – with the tone. If someone were to create a Fuck You Party in American politics, I’d become one of the first card-carrying members.
So Samizadata stays.
After I post some actual porn later today, I’m gonna go through the list of porn sites. If any of you dear readers want to suggest a site to add, please e-mail me or leave a comment here. Fresh meat is always welcome.
Skills like this come in handy. The fistee, on the right, will provide plenty of sexual excitement for you with her well-stretched-out pussy. She can probably even carry stuff around in there for you when you go out together.
As for the girl on the left… the fister: If you ever need to retrieve some loose change from deep in your sofa, I’m sure she’ll be able to get it for ‘ya.
Well, my friends… I am now fully returned from the Underworld. It was a great four months– I’ll blog about it later on.
For now, though, we need some good porn here. No better place to start than with our favorite French porn site, Explicite-Art.
We’ll start out with Eve & Anais. Eve– on the right– has that look and I find it irresistible, while Anais has… well… she’s got a big nose. I like girls with big noses.
Next is Anais showing off her pooch. No, she doesn’t fuck the doggy– that would be bestiality and we don’t do that here!
Lea is one of the new Explicite-Art girls; here’s a triple shot of her lusciousness (and, with regard to the third gallery, her juicy-ness):
If you don’t like Lea then we have other new girls for ‘ya too:
These next two– Daria & Lola– are da shezbangz…. I could wank to this photo in particular all day long.
And we’ll finish this collection off with four galleries that show what consummate professionals these French hardcore art porn producers are. From anal-fisting to cum-shottery to choke-fucking, they do it all and they do it all well!
Holy fuck! I’m in an Apple Store! I bet you didn’t know that the exit door from the Underworld leads into an Apple Store, did ‘ya?
I still don’t know anything else about what particular Apple Store I’m in. I tried to ask one of the Apple-shirted dudes but he just laughed at me. Maybe he no speakie the Engrish?
There are certainly lots of foreigners around! Some of them have got backpacks on; some look like they’ve been sitting in front of these Macs for hours. Is this some sort of Apple Store cum Internet Cafe… without the coffee?
Maybe I’m in Prague? I always thought if one were to exit the Underworld through the door marked “EXIT” then one would end up in Prague.
Anyway… Foreigners are cool! Sometimes they’re sideways but you’ve still gotta appreciate the way they often cut through the bullshit:
Wow… I see that it’s been four months. Four months with no updates for my dearly neglected readers. Are you still out there, my pretties?
Four months is pretty fucking bad. Not as bad as Lex Konrad, who has gone almost a year without posting anything except a giant stone baby head, but still bad…
I’ve got an idea! How about I give you a gratuitous shaved naked gun-toting midget and we call it even? Sound good?
Here ‘ya go:
Now down to business…
Where the hell am I? I came through the door marked “EXIT” and into this place that sorta looks like some sort of strange internet cafe. Lots of people speaking foreign languages. A glass-enclosed staircase in the middle of the room. My eyes are still adjusting.
Coffee please!!! Where do they serve the coffee? I’ve spent four months in the fucking Underworld– I need a fucking cup of coffee!!
What?! No coffee bar?! Just a Genuis Bar?! What the fuck?!
For the uninitiated: A snuff film is a porn film where the actress is killed on camera for the gratification of the viewer.
Such films have long been a staple of law enforcement propaganda. Gotta ban all pornography because of them! Gotta fight porn’s terrible spread because, you know, it’s one small tiny step from browsing MET-ART to becoming a producer of the latest and greatest snuff flick.
A snuff film even featured as the main plot point in the 1979 Hollywood film Hardcore. In that, Geroge C. Scott plays a Midwestern businessman who heads to San Fransisco to rescue his daughter from the clutches of a demonic snuff porn business. Here’s the trailer:
Apparently, the more recent film 8MM is “inspired by” (i.e. it’s a rip-off of) Hardcore, also having a plot that centers around a snuff film.
But as the esteemed sex doctor Marty Klein points out, snuff films probably don’t exist. He hasn’t seen one. And he doesn’t know anyone who has seen one. And he doesn’t know anyone who knows anyone who has seen one. And he’s a fucking well-connected guy!!!
So snuff films are likely just the product of legend and of fear and of Hollywood screenwriting and of dishonest politically-motivated fabrication.
Maybe the reason for this is that we human beings don’t actually like the idea of killing other people. Maybe we find it universally awful at the most basic visceral level. And maybe this disgust with killing is something that is shared by all humans, even by those godless gay-loving pot-smoking heathens from California. Maybe those people with “San Fransisco values” have some morals after all, and maybe they’re not subhuman like we good god-fearing Haliburton stockholders have been saying all these years.
Maybe the only way to get a person to enjoy killing is through political warmongering and the associated collectivist brainwashing. Maybe snuff films don’t exist, but an atmosphere encouraging sadistic violence in the name of the political leadership of the day does.
Now this is some fucking porn! A bald chic named Sinead Sinead Sinead is double fucked by two guys. The messy scene is complete with deep-throating and anal and ass-to-mouth. And no talking. Just fucking.
The extended clip is courtesy of our friends at DP Fanatics.
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